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5×5 Day Four: Slushy Gutter Colarado Sports & Hip Hop Edition

by Travis on April 16, 2009

My man Commish from the infamous Slushy Gutter Crew dropped by to lend his skills to the set. Commish is all knowing in the areas of sports, hip hop and brew. He brings up some valid points on this list (fuck Kordell, fuck Elway and fuck Cutler), and does so with his own brand of humor and witt.

I might just drop the five craziest things that the Slushy Gutter Summer Challenge made me do……My liver still isn’t the same.

Top Five List- Colorado Players Referenced in Rap Songs
Over at the Slushy Gutter we stick to only three things: Hip Hop, Beer, and Colorado Sports. It’s a pretty simple formula that has lead to tens of readers over he past few years. The three pillars of the SG culture overlap from time to time. Hip Hop and beer go together like peanut butter and chocolate, you got The Alkaholiks, “Tap The Bottle”, and the ever present 40 ounce. Beer and Colorado Sports happen, trust me. I’ve seen my fair share of 303 ballers over-imbibing about town, including one former floppy haired diabetic quarterback who cried his way out of town. Who needs insulin when you have Heineken?

Colorado Sports and Hip Hop? Not a common occurrence, but alas, there are a few joints that work in some Denver luminaries. You have to be a true MC to get Patrick Roy into your 16. Check it:

1- “Rapper slash exec, Kordell Stewart, your flow all y’all usin is mine, you’re all useless”- Jay-Z- “Hovi Baby”
-Perhaps the most gifted pure athlete to ever ply his wares inside the Box State, he could do it all: blazing speed, a rocket arm, break ankles on jukes, and roll over would-be tacklers. Please save the Kordell “rumors” that someone’s cousin caught him under the bleachers, because frankly I don’t care. But bring up that Kordell never beat Nebraska? Bring up to Trav that he lost the AFC Championship? Then we have issues.

2- “Fantastic fabulous my shit is fat shit, the bomb like Elway throw bombs on John Madden”- Redman- “Noorotic”
-The Grand Poobah of Colorado Sports. Ask 100 Coloradans who John Elway is and 99 of them will tell you. Ask the same 100 who the governor is and half won’t have a clue and a handful actually think John Elway is the governor.

3- “So rap artists get ready to rumble! Cause I got lyrics up my sleeve that slam harder than Mutumbo”- Tha Alkaholiks- “DAAMM”
-Yes, he sounds like the sub-Saharan Cookie Monster, but Dikembe is beloved in Nuggets’ lore, even a dozen years after he left. The indelible image of #55 clutching the ball after the Nugs’ monumental upset of the Sonics in 1994 was actually the second place finish for the back of the Colorado quarter.

4- “LA ni**az got crazy game, like John Elway got a Super Bowl Ring”- Ras Kass- “Ghettofabulous”
-How Los Angeles-based hustlers’ ability to talk to women is related to #7’s Super Bowl XXXII triumph is unbeknownst to me. If their game stepped up from “crazy” to “certifiably insane” after his second Super Bowl win, props to them.

5- “I’m at the Knicks game when it’s on,I get Nuggets so I’m there with a Carmelo uniform”- Pete Rock f/LD & Redman- “Best Believe”
-Spitting about sporting the jersey of the best player in modern Nugs’ history is so much easier than working Kiki Vandeweghe into your rhyme. On this NBA Playoffs eve, the #2 seed Denver Nuggets are lead by Redman and his #15 yellow and blue Melo threads.

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